


Hard At Work

by ShamelessThot



Category: Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Closet Sex, Eventual Fluff, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Gender-neutral Reader, Hand Jobs, Markiplier - Freeform, Markiplier egos - Freeform, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Office Blow Jobs, Other, Reader-Insert, Shameless Smut, Smutt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 00:31:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamelessThot/pseuds/ShamelessThot
Summary: Some sexy awkward smut, with the least sexy ego.





	Hard At Work

“This is highly inappropriate,” Harold breathed as you shut and locked the cupboard door behind you.

Quickly on the tips of your toes, you spun around, pressing as much as your weight against him as you could before kissing him with a hungry moan. He moaned too as your tongue slid against his and delved deep into his throat. Your sides ached slightly where his hands held you in a white knuckle grip, prying at your shirt. There was no stopping your own hands from running raggedly down the sides of his face and down his neck. He grunted and his body shifted as your hands continued to roam lower and lower, first teasing the hard nipples beneath his hideous army-green t-shirt, then taking a pause to scratch at his stomach and making him jerk in surprise, and finally down they sunk until your fingers traced the buckle of his belt.

“Y-You’re violating indecent exposure laws and s-several-- oh g-god… several O.W.O.S.E.N.P.A.I office protocols!…”

“Mm-hm” You reached down to cup him through his jeans. A weak whine echoed forth from Harold's lips as he bucked against your palm. He pressed them into a fine line and his head pressed against your shoulder, “Should I stop?”

“N-No.” He mewled, “I-...”

If the grinding of your palm against his cock was any indication, you had no intention of stopping. You had been pining for Harold since the moment you had met him and this encounter was long overdue. He wasn’t a particularly sexy man. His shoulders hunched. He squinted and had shifty, nervous eyes. He was constantly huffing and barking at those around him. There were very few things that were attractive about Harold Benis Darrensworth. His redeeming qualities were his dry sense of humor, which you had found oddly charming, his masterful use of the lowest form of comedy; puns, and you had only [very] recently added “hung like a horse” to the list. The sheer size of him was impressive. 

“Maybe I should stop.” You teased, “Agents shouldn’t be together like this.”

He clung to you desperately with spasmodic thrusts, and his breathing was just as uneven and frenzied.

“Please,” Harold begged.

“Mmm… I don’t know. I don’t want to get in trouble.” Your voice was a smokey whisper, “You might punish me.”

“No, I…”

“Do you want to punish me, Harold?” 

Harold clutched you tighter, practically wheezing as he rocked against you. You chuckled darkly as you pulled your hand away. You heard a small whimper of protest but you ignored it and shoved him back against the wall of the tiny closet. Once again you bent forward, putting your chest to his and leaning as much of your weight into him as possible as you went in for a kiss. Harold’s hands cupped your face to hold you there. Playfully you nipped at his lips and growled into each kiss until he was flustered and blushing. 

“Maybe I deserve it.” You purred and trailed kisses leading down from his mouth to his jaw, “You make me want to do bad things to you.”

He audibly gasped as you dipped lower to bite at his neck, “I-I do?”

Nodding, you took to running your hands over his thighs before bringing them back up to his chest. He took several heavy breaths, shuddering at your touch. Your fingers did away with the buttons of his shirt as you nuzzled and nipped at him.

"Sometimes I think about bumping into you late at night and letting you have your way with me on one of the desks in the office." One button was undone, and you placed a kiss on his chest, "Or sending you dirty texts and pictures." You kissed him again, lower this time as another button was released.

Button after button, you kissed your way down and recited your most wicked fantasies aloud until you were kneeling in front of him. The muscles in his stomach contracted as you placed a gentle kiss just below his navel, and when your teeth grazed his skin he hissed in anticipation. You watched as he waited for you to sink into him, his eyes shut tight and his breathing erratic. Ever living up to his expectations, you bit down, bearing down on his taut skin and eliciting a loud moan from him. You suckled and licked the place where your teeth had dug in, circling the bite with your tongue as you went to work on his belt.

Your lips pursed and blew cool breath across the wet spot, causing goosebumps to rise from his skin. With deft hands, you unfastened the buckle and pried open his jeans before reaching up to coax his cock from his underwear. It sprang out, hard and wet with a thin strand of precum that was already leaking from his tip. You had a good idea of his size and girth of his shween before you had pulled it out, but god damn was it beautiful. There was no time to admire his endowments, no matter how good they looked. You weren’t sure how much time the two of you had before someone would stumble across the broom cupboard and spoil your fun. So, with a gentle hand, you took Harold into your palm and stroked. His entire body was as stiff and as rigid as his swollen cock as you caressed him. You nibbled at his hips, glancing up to catch a glimpse of him. Unlike his member, his expression wasn’t very pretty. His face, which was usually always twisted into a sour expression, was a blend of emotions that you couldn’t exactly read. He looked torn between being turned on, pained, and terrified. It was distracting and you realized you must have slowed down or paused because as you were trying to make sense of his prune-like face Harold reached down to guide your hand and begged you to keep going.

“Don’t stop,” He moaned, “please.”

Happy to oblige his request, you worked his shaft, fondling his sack before dipping your head and taking it into your mouth. Unlike the books you read, there was no taste to speak of. No salt or musk met your tongue as it slid between the cleft of his balls. No flavor that was “uniquely Harold”. They tasted of skin and only skin. Still, they felt good in your mouth, and the sounds Harold made as you tasted him filled you with a sense of enjoyment. Wanton cries echoed off the walls of the closet and weak, yearning fingers found their way into your hair. He didn’t tug or yank, though you suspected he wanted to. Instead, he simply stroked your hair, then your cheeks in a surprisingly gentle and intimate way that actually made you blush. Your lips wandered, kissing the base of his cock, which tempted your tongue to take a long lick. The velvet muscle traced a line from hilt to tip slowly and deliberately, then down again from tip to hilt before flicking it at his sack again.

“Careful,” Harold warned between harsh gasps, “I might…”

His back arched and his body jerked slightly. 

“Come?” You asked. 

He nodded, breathing heavily. A smile spread across your face and you took another long lave of his cock. Hilt to tip, back and forth, again and again until you could feel him twitching with the pleasure you gave him. Your own body was warm and aching. The place between your legs yearning for attention. Until then, you had neglected your own wants in favor of pleasing Harold. Your free hand slid down, playing with the spot that demanded your attention, and as you came back to his tip, you slid Harold’s cock into your mouth with a low, sultry moan.

The gentle hand that stroked your hair turned violent as his fingers curled around your locks and gripped them tight. A low, gravelly groan echoed from his throat and rumbled in his chest as you took him inch by inch into your mouth until his entire length was pressed to the back of your throat. In tandem with your own strokes, you bobbed your head. You noticed his knees buckle and then lock again and thought that if he had any weaker of a constitution, Harold might have collapsed. Fortunately for you, he managed to stay upright. The sound of your own sex mingled with the wet, squishy sounds of your mouth gliding back and forth over Harold’s cock. Occasionally you moaned or whined as you brought yourself closer, and the deep vibrations of your throat made Harold twitch inside of your mouth. Your tongue became familiar with the sensation of his veiny girth, and you could count each vessel as he pumped in and out. 

The pressure built and your stomach tightened. Stroking and pleasuring your sex to the sounds of Harold’s cries made your body pulse with heat. Each time he called your name, or begged for more you felt yourself moving faster, and faster. You couldn’t keep a rhythm any longer. Your tighs twitched and shook as you rubbed and fondled your sweet spots, all the while you had Harold deep inside of your throat, thrusting frantically and pushing deeper and deeper until your jaw began to ache. Your own cries, though muffled, grew louder until you finally made it over the edge. Harold cried out shortly before you did, spraying his load down your throat and into your mouth until it leaked at the corners. Your own orgasm as just as violent. You sucked until he was spent, and teased yourself until every drop was squeezed out of you.

Careful not to get any of his come on your clothes, you slid Harold out of your mouth, cleaning and swallowing what you could before tucking him away. You grabbed some paper towels from a nearby rack and cleaned yourself off while Harold composed himself. His heavy breathing had slowed, and for once he didn’t seem so drawn and squinty. 

“How’re you doin’, big guy?” You asked, standing back up to put your arms around his neck. Harold rigidly returned your embrace.

Glancing down at the floor he nodded, “I, uh- I feel great… Yeah. I’m great. Y-You did great.” The word “Great” was beginning to sound less like a word each time he said it, and you suspected he realized it. Harold went quite a moment, then nervously he asked, “And what about you… was it okay? Was I okay?”

His bashfulness made you smile. You kissed his cheek and laughed, “Better than okay, Harold.”

Harold beamed at the news and you laughed again. He really was sweet when he wasn’t barking at anyone. Perhaps you liked him more than you thought, and this wasn’t just an itch that needed scratching. His lips brushed yours and you blushed slightly. There was still a very obvious fearfulness in his kiss. You felt it in the trembling of his body and heard it in his uneven breath, but it was tender and wonderful. The moment was fading though, and as Harold pulled away and gestured to the closet door, you knew that this wasn’t going to be enough. You already wanted him again, and he hadn’t even gone.

“You know,” you spoke coyly, “if you ever wanted to do something like this again, I could give you my number. You could come over to my place…”

It sounded stupid. So stupid. At least, you thought it did. But Harold, if a little surprised, seemed to consider it carefully.

His brow furrowed and he frowned a bit, “You’re sure?” 

“Yeah. Y’know… figured it would be better if we weren’t breaking office protocol and all that.”  
He blinked. Harold stood quietly a moment, not once looking away from you. It was weird, and it made you feel a little vulnerable- imagine giving a guy oral in a broom cupboard and then feeling vulnerable for asking him out! How you had walked into this with so much confidence to suddenly turn into a bundle of nerves was beyond you. 

“I already have your number.” He said finally, pulling his phone from his pocket, “All agents are required to provide a means of contact to their supervisor.”

“So is that a yes?”

He swallowed, stuffing his phone back into his pants awkwardly as he tried to shuffle past you and go out the door. 

“Harold?”

He took a deep breath and looked at you, nodding slightly.

“Yeah.” his voice was quiet, “I-... Yes. We should definitely-- at your place. We should do that.”

You smiled, “Then it’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title was based on a song by Here Come The Mummies that happened to be playing while I was writing this.
> 
> I know Harold is no one's favorite ego, and like... 80% of the fans don't really know who he is, but he's one of my favs.


End file.
